I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
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