Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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