3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
