There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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