Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize