The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
