Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Please, let me fuck your mom
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
So much rum. So many feels.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Randomize
