Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
