Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
