I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize