Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
