Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I am one with the molecules
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
