I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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