If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
