like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
