i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
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