Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
