And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
