The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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