overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
A bitchslap is in order.
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