do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
