I can tuck mytits in my pants
I skipped work to stalk him.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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