White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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