it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
