So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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