On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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