Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
So. Much. Porn.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
