I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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