Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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