Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
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