Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize