I smell stomach acid.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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