I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
