But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
