i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize