I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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