I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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