Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
