woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
