Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
