Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
