We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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