Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
