i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
And then my night got REAL pukey
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
