"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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