I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
you mean i was at the winter classic?
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
