You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
