In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
