Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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