Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize
