Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
