Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
