So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I had to cum in my sink.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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