I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
