just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Randomize
