party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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