my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
