Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
