Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
This beer is not sobering me up at all
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Randomize
