just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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