out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
