Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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