Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
