There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
It's blow job season.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
