i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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