he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Sober January is a disaster.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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