Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
