there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Your topless pictures make me question reality
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
