Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
