I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
