There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Randomize
