We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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